Same old argument
Ever think, “Here we go again!” Or wonder how your best friend is now your worst enemy? What happened to the person who laughed at your jokes and shared the fun? They are now standing opposite you, rolling their eyes, or not communicating at all. Then you find yourself anxious or worried about bringing something up because you’re afraid it will turn into another fight and you just don’t want to deal with it.
If this sounds familiar, we can help you deal with it differently and re-connect with the friend you knew and love again!
For more information on how we can work together to help you and your partner enjoy being together more, call us today at 510-748-0637.
Typically, an affair is a betrayal of trust, and this betrayal can cause significant anxiety and distress in your relationship.
Can a marriage recover from an affair? Yes, if both partners are invested in repairing the relationship. On the positive side, the rebuilding of a relationship after an affair will strengthen the connection between the two of you and help create a sustainable connection for the future.
There are several types of affairs:
- Virtual (online)
Typically, people think about affairs in the first two instances: heartfelt romance and casual physical connections. There are also emotional and virtual elements that complicate affairs.
Emotional affairs lack sexual intimacy, which makes them more difficult to define as an affair. Partners may find it easier to deny or justify their behavior when involved in an emotional affair.
Frequently, emotional affairs start as platonic relationships, but can evolve into intense or enduring emotional intimacy that may develop into a sexual connection. This can occur when friends share intimate information with each other rather than their committed partner. One or both people may feel that their friend understands them better than their partner.
There is also a tendency to keep this intense friendship a secret, especially if there is a component of sexual attraction (whether or not it’s acknowledged).
The virtual or online affair is an extension of the emotional affair with such communication modes as texting, telephone calls, or online chats. While the people involved may not be physically present with each other, their connection takes the place of time spent with their partner or spouse.
If you think you might be having an emotional affair, ask yourself these questions:
- Are you experiencing repetitive hostility and conflict in your relationship?
- Do you feel an emotional distance from your partner?
- Do you find it difficult to talk with your partner?
- Are you sharing more with your friend than your partner?
- Are you sexually attracted to your friend?
- Is the phrase, “We’re just friends” your rationalization for your close friendship?
- Is your friendship a secret?
- Do you look forward to spending time with your friend more than your partner?
- When you talk to your partner about your day, do you hide your interactions with your friend?
If you answer YES to four or more of these questions, it’s time to examine the emotional connection you have in your primary relationship.
We can guide you through a process that will help you make some hard decisions, recognize a healthy emotional connection and feel better about yourself and your relationship. Call us today.
Does it feel like you have a third person in your relationship? Are you or your partner in recovery? Addiction and recovery affect relationships. Are you looking for ways to cope, intervene, become less co-dependent or find a deeper emotional connection?
We can help your recovery and your relationship! Give us a call today.
According to the Mayo Clinic, premarital counseling can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship — giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage.
Our premarital counseling can help you identify weaknesses in your relationship that might lead to problems down the road.
Here are the things we often focus on in premarital counseling
- Communication without blame
- Beliefs and values
- Marriage roles
- Affection, intimacy, and sex
- Children and parenting
- Family relationships
- Decision making
- Rituals and connection
- Quality time spent together
- Stress reduction
- Couples who engaged in and completed premarital counseling had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not
- 44% of couples who get married today agree to premarital counseling
- The median amount of time couples spend in premarital counseling is 8 hours
How do you know if your relationship is struggling and in the need of counseling?
- You feel stuck in bad patterns
- Arguments are more frequent
- Communication is poor — you often feel misunderstood or ignored
- Trust has been broken
- Something definitely feels wrong, but you’re not sure what or why
- There is something you want your partner to know, but you’re unable to tell them
- You find yourself blaming, overly critical, or taking the defensive whenever there is a disagreement
- You have gone through a trauma that is changing the way you connect with each other
- Emotional intimacy is absent or significantly diminished
- Physical intimacy is a problem
We can help you resolve, compromise, and have those difficult conversations. Turn towards the person you love and connect deeply. Call us now!
The initial couples assessment is 90 minutes. Subsequent sessions normally run 75-90 minutes.
We find that two longer sessions per month are more effective than having shorter sessions every week. It’s more cost effective for you, too.